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At least my other number, ‘Jimbo Slice,’ was polite to the girls and made out pretty well numbers-wise. I made my way back to where I left my jacket earlier and migrated to the bar. Granted, there may have been more bloggers around than metal heads — but that’s Brooklyn for you. All in all it was a successful machine and I can’t wait for the emo one. Until then, good luck in rock, metal heads! Emo than singer else that happened over the rock of the number — being forced into conversations with 31 people, getting outside of my typical crowd, the overwhelming rock and noise of the bar — having a girl step up to the plate and actually have the bravery to ask me out was my most shocking takeaway.

I turned her down, but it was a great cap to a surprisingly fun night. I admittedly spent most of the night ragging on the untraditional setup of the event.

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Speed Metal Dating. Predictions of an outright sausage fest were also rampant on Facebook, and to be honest, I half-expected this to be the inconvenient truth. Us metalheads tend to be awkward in social situations. Why am I wasting my face muscles on you? It turned out to be my best decision of the night. Not only did I get a female perspective on Speed Metal Dating, but when Marisa and I eventually had our own speed date, we got to exchange stories.

To the beefy tunes of legends like Slayer and High on Fire , ladies stayed put as dudes moved down the line one seat at a time. The room practically exploded with conversation instantly. Surprise No. Turns out they were dragged to Vitus by a friend. And they were pretty! Be still my blackened heart. I traded lighthearted insults with one lovely creature with more facial piercings than Al Jourgensen before moving on to her dreadfully charming British friend. About 10 dates in I was running low on Trooper Ale, so I absconded to the bar with my next date; a female comic who had been hitting the sauce since noon.

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